Some of you girls are already thinking — On what planet do those guys live? I’ve never known a guy like that, at least one that I would be attracted to. If that is the case, maybe you need to start hanging around with a different group of guys.
If you have a history of dating cheaters or know way too many girls who have, then you might need to rethink how you pick your boyfriends. We’ll get that later.
And, yes, I know girlfriends can cheat too, but for the next few blogs, we’re going to talk about boyfriends.
Guys really Aren’t all that Complex- Nor are their Relationships
There is lots of advice floating around in books, blogs, and every-day conversations about why guys cheat. But if you haven’t figured this out yet, you will eventually discover that guys are really not that complex.
The male approach to dating lies somewhere between that of a caveman and a mechanical engineer, often more like the caveman. So, I have simplified the WHY of cheating by whittling it down to three things. This is not intended to be a complete list, mind you. But understanding these few simple things about guys
could help you a lot.
First, Boyfriends Cheat because of a Big Misunderstanding of the Relationship
Dustin wrote: “I think the 2 main reasons why guys cheat goes like this:
1) Guys get stuck with a clingy girl, figures maybe she’ll change over the course of a few months.Really likes the girl for a lot of her character traits but notices that she’s not going to let him go.”
Miss Insecurity is dating Mr. Self-Confident, and with that relationship, she is trying desperately to plug some pretty big holes in her own self-esteem. You know how that usually turns out— clinginess, jealousy, anger, tears… When a very insecure person and very self-confident person begin dating, they almost always have a different understanding about the relationship.
The girl might understand their relationship as being long-term, high-commitment, and exclusive (that means no other girls allowed). Her boyfriend may see things very differently. To him it is about hanging out, having fun, making out, and moving on. The truth is that he is not into her nearly as much as she is into him.
But Miss Insecurity doesn’t want to press Mr. Self-Confident too hard about his commitment. She would prefer to assume (or in some cases, dream) he is as committed to her as she is to him. One reason guys cheat is that they have a different understanding about the relationship. And so, they don’t think fooling around with another girl is cheating at all.
BTW, guys have to deal with insecurity just as much as girls.
Dustin wrote (continued): 2) Guys just want sex from a girl. Girl isn’t willing to give them sex just yet, so they stick around. They wait for a while, giving promises of everlasting love til they finally get what they want. Then they stick around a little longer and say Hey!…so I’ve met this other girl (who I’ve had sex with without you knowing) and I just don’t see things working out between us…so Yeah.
Second, Boyfriends Cheat because their Relationship Goals are Different from Yours
Then there are guys who are very willing to talk about the relationship. They make lots of promises, using words like, “I love you,” “you’re so beautiful…,” and “spend our lives together….” The girlfriend might be saying the same words, but there is a difference. Some girls give a lot and put up with a lot in order to get what they want most— the relationship.
On the other hand, some guys (including the ones more likely to cheat) come at it from the other direction. They get excited about the relationship too, but simply because the relationship is the way to get what they want — usually sex.
Megan wrote:
“Guys who cheat on their girlfriends are inconsiderate jerks who need to grow up. If guys cheat, then they are obviously not ready to commit to a relationship. When guys cheat they usually cheat on a great girl who really cares about them for some ugly brainless girl who could care less about them.”
It’s pretty simple—she wants a relationship, so much so that she is even tempted to offer some sex to get is. He wants sex, even if he has to give some relationship to get it. But cheating violates the relationship, not the sex. Another reason guys cheat is that the relationship was never their goal—it was the sex.
Lastly, Boyfriends Cheat because They are Weaklings
Boyfriends who cheat don’t always do it with a plan in mind. Remember, guys are not that complex. You probably know about some girls who stalk guys like sexual predators- they try in every way they can to get them to cheat. Unfortunately, some guys just don’t have what it takes to refuse.
What’s in your Boyfriend’s Background and World
A lot of guys and girls dream about being as different as possible from their parents. So the last thing on your checklist for a potential boyfriend is his mom and dad. Don’t leave! Check this- when it comes to being faithful to wives and girlfriends, one of the most important factors is a guy’s parents. Generally speaking, guys who grow up in homes where their parents cheat, find it much easier to do the same thing.
Counselor Gary Neuman asked 200 cheating and non-cheating husbands about why they cheated. He found that 77% of cheating men have a good friend who also cheated. Some BFs give in easily to the temptation to cheat because that is what their friends and family do. You should not judge a guy by what those around him do, but don’t underestimate the power of influence.
Most Cheating Boyfriends are Repeat Offenders
The most notorious cheater of late is Tiger Woods. He was married to one of hottest women on the planet but a big-time cheater with lots of women. BTW, only 12% of cheating husbands in the Neuman study said that the women they cheated with were more physically attractive than their wives. Tiger claims to have a sexual addiction, and because of that, he just couldn’t say no.
Hum… a sexual addiction? That may be true, but no one starts out with a sexual addiction. The guy cheated once, then twice, then three times. It became easier and easier to give in, harder and harder to say no until eventually — addicted. If you are dating a guy who cheated before, there is a good chance he will cheat on you too — even if from the beginning he never planned it that way. If he has cheated more than once, it is even more likely that it will happen again.
Dustin wrote (again): “Men are pigs, women are crazy. My life was simplified after l accepted this.”
How does a good guy and a good boy friend become a cheater? -I don’t mean just a one-time slip. I’m talking about an habitual, intentional, lying, two-timing cheater. Two reasons: either he never gets caught or he is allowed to do so by girlfriends who keep taking him back. In other words, he has never had to face consequences that are painful enough to give him a good enough reason to stop.
SOURCE: The hope line
Post By: Ukachukwu Victor
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